The Cat strikes again.....

On becoming an adult, with home & child, makes sense to get a pet doesn't it?
Well... get a dog? no! they need lots of walking, attention and at the time owning a 9 month old child and puppy just sounded like a stupid idea.
Hamster? guinea pig? rabbit?
All have hutches which need cleaning on a regular basis, they are a bit boring, could be bitey and again sounds like a lot aggro.
Fish? boring!

So yes, I and I alone made the stupid decision to get a cat. Maisy was the most adorable little kitten who very quickly got rid of the litter tray preferring to use the garden and was more than happy to potter off outside or snuggle up to the mini-me. She put up with the slightly too tight cuddles, screaming and general grief she got from the mini-me.

2 and a half years later and I am going to make a statement here which is very rare for me...
I WAS WRONG!

The 'whorecat' as I now call her has a very large ginger tom cat boyfriend who likes to come into my garden and attempt to serenade her with his 'lovely' screeching and wailing. He has impregnanted the cat on 3 occasions now, and i only discovered the last time when i was about to take her to 'get done'

In the summer said cat likes to come into my house via open windows and attempt to impregnate my maisy in the middle of my kitchen and when i try to get him out of the house, he swans over to maisy's food, tucks in and looks at me as if he owns the bloody place.

Now my latest annoyance is that Maisy has learnt how to open my fridge, I don't know how she has mastered this skill, but over the past week, I have come downstairs to find she has eaten a packet of bacon, sandwich chicken, chorizo and a curry..............

Apparently cat food isn't appealing anymore, but i am now lumbered with said cat forever as it would break the mini-me's heart if she went to a new home, well neutering and a fridge lock will be the next expenditures by the looks of it, Do fridge locks exsist?

Should of got a fish.

easter half term......

So today i came to the conclusion that Easter half term is worse than summer holiday's, Christmas and any other put together! Last weekend mini-me went to nanny's on the Saturday (her sperm donor's mother) and was obviously spoilt rotten by her whole other family, then Easter Sunday was spent with my whole extended family, swimming in eggs, chocolate and presents.

IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS. IT IS NOT YOUR BIRTHDAY. When i was a child i got an egg, when i was a teenager i got a fiver, my daughter however has had princess dresses, eggs, toys, and from what i gather the best part of £200. It is Easter. Not one mention of religion has been anywhere near my child, I appreciate she is 3 and a half, but again, it is not your birthday, or even Christmas.

I am beyond concerned!! by the fact that 5 days later my child is still asking for chocolate and toys 367 times a day, when frankly kiddo, it ain't happening!! It was a special occasion which frankly the spoiling lasted longer than her birthday.....

ROLL ON MONDAY

for now my lovelies, it is time for a wine,

LISTS

I would have to say I spend around 3 hours a week writing lists, preparing for tasks that without a 3 year old I could do with my eyes closed, but now i have to warn myself days in advance for simple things like shopping, a sleepover at nanna's or just things that need doing around the house that I will inevitably forget to do.

And i would say 70%  of these lists become lost, drawn on, painted with yogurt or just frankly disappear along with half of all socks and for some reason today's favorite toy that mini-me frankly could not possibly sleep with out.

I have begun making lists on my phone in the attempt that they don't get lost, but when you are sat on a bus, in a waiting room or cafe and the 3 year old is becoming bored its extremely easy to go here, play on the cbeebies app and please be quiet so the rest of the public stop staring at you shouting 'mum i farted!!!' and by the time its come to use said list, brilliant, phone has died.

At what point does your brain begin to function again and you don't need said lists! three and half year down the line and i still pop to the shop for milk and come back £20 down with half the sweet aisle, a bottle of wine and no milk! 

At what age do children realise shouting they have farted in public is not acceptable? 

Its very strange coming back to blogging after over a year off, but I think I need my outlet of whining back, Hopefully I shall go back to amusing you all with more horrendous stories of how myself and mini-me are embarrassing me on a daily basis....

much love x